You don’t see it but i’m not me, i’m not myself. I’m shame, i’m a space of waste. I am death shrouded by a disguise of a fake and unwanted skin. My insides are weak. My mind does not fit my flawed and disgusting body, figure, shape, image. Time is drowning me.
today when you ask me why i’m sad or upset and i say “there is nothing wrong” please know i am lying.
Facebook got picked over me today, i got lied to today, i got insulted today, i got called stupid names today, i got mentally fucked today, i know it’s not the worst things but it fucked me up pretty good.
Quit, it’s in my blood and i feel it running in my vanes tonight. Sick of the people and the space they are wasting. You make me sick, i would tell you i hate you but i hold myself back cause i know it will bring harm upon my name. If i was myself if i was a man i wouldn’t care about my name and what would come if i did speak up and say “I FUCKING HATE YOU” “YOU SUCK AS A PERSON” “YOUR IMAGE IS UGLY” “YOU TRY TO HARD AND IT MAKES YOU LOOK STUPID” “YOUR WORK IS STUPID, YOU HAVE NO TALENT AND I DON’T REALLY SEE YOU GETTING ANY BETTER BECAUSE YOU REALLY DON’T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES”. Your a waste of space, stop doing something just because you think it makes you look cool, realize that you suck at it and quit, please.
I want to be better for you, better for it. Better for the story we find ourselves creating in the dark when the room is silent and filled with blank space. I am weak, my mind is an expanding crack that is filling with dirt that blocks me from the real feelings i want to express, i am a bastard. I keep myself from holding on to a life that is better for me for i feel i do not deserve the greatness of it. My worth is nothing, i am nothing.